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zeus took fuck, marry, kill way too seriously
"IT’S ‘FUCK, MARRY, OR KILL!’ ‘OR!’ NOT ‘AND!’ WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”
— Hades at some point probably
I laughed way too hard at this.
it’s come to light that the ‘net 30’ terms that were described by a member of DashCon’s upper management weren’t correct. Whether that misinformation was deliberate or accidental, we can’t say for sure.
first bolding: weaselly passive phrasing, diffusing culpability onto vague third party (that scoundrel!)
second bolding: insinuating there was sabotage in a really transparently sleazy way.
We can only say that we’ve taken measures to remove the person who handled that situation from our company.
vague third party thrown under the bus—“we” took care of “the person”. iirc this happens 3 times in the statement.
Additionally, it was suggested that the Renaissance Schaumburg had denigrated our attendees, saying that they didn’t like the ‘type of clientele’ our event brought in. That has since been proven 100% untrue. When two of the Con Heads were told by the third that such a thing had been said or otherwise insinuated, it wasn’t wholly unbelievable—as it’s happened to so many other events in the past
first and second bolding: weasel words again. who suggested it? the vague third party takes another hit, admins still blameless.
third bolding: this whole thing reeks but i want to draw your attention to the way this staffer frequently suggests malicious shit may be going down to hurt the con spirit. never enough to have to defend it, just little remarks here and there.
—and, in our state of panic, we believed what we were told,
told by whom? darn that vague third party! it’s all xir fault!
therein passing it along to our attendees. DashCon’s sincerest apologies go out to everyone who was hurt by this statement, including our attendees, vendors, staff members, and everyone at both the Renaissance Schaumburg and their parent company, Marriott International.
the first indefensible fuckup so far. now, notice how the apology is solid as shit and reads like a PR script. someone got some stern professional advice, is my guess.
If you donated cash and would like it returned, please also let us know by 11:59pm EST on Saturday, July 19, 2014.
it took them six days to
hire a lawyer to protect themrespond to the complaints, but you only get til the 19th to get your money back because time is of the essence. mm-hm.
Please send an email email@example.com with “Cash Donation Refund” in the subject line. Within the body of the email, please include your full name, phone number, Invoice ID from your badge purchase [to verify your ability to have been in attendance], and the amount you donated.
Reminder: the cash was collected in bags, and receipts were either optional or nonexistent. most of these people were teenagers opening their wallets.
Upon advice of our legal counsel, we have been instructed to sort through claims, try and determine legitimacy [based on total amount claimed versus total amount received], and make an informed decision about potential refunds in coordination with both legal and accounting at that time.
translation: you can kiss your cash goodbye. also note how when the refund comes up, the lawyer is suddenly invoked twice in a single sentence. very intimidating!
Even if you’ve already emailed or invoiced us about your donation, please do so again in the above described manner to ensure we don’t miss your claim.
jump through the hoop again!
Any claims made after 11:59pm EST on Saturday, July 19, 2014 will be disregarded. We’re sorry for any inconvenience this causes, but there must be a hard cut-off in order for us to properly sort through claims.
Thank you again to everyone who helped us out. You have no idea how impressive and touching it was to see what can be accomplished in such a short time. We never expected to have to do anything of this sort, and your support was overwhelming to all who witnessed it. You have our eternal gratitude.
notice how they slather on the praise immediately after the bad news. playing on loyalty and the spirit of community. pretty good work there.
As reported by the Baker Street Babes, they did mention speaking to their lawyer. For the record, this was not what sparked our action, though.
beautiful thinly-veiled defensiveness. they don’t dare talk shit about the talent, but they can put in teensy little hints that shit went down but they’re Too Professional to do more than drop in allusions to it.
Why did you consistently give false information to the committees which helped plan Dashcon, including misinformation about where their fundraising money would go?
ooh, some answers!
While we at DashCon didn’t want to blatantly skip over this question, we would require significantly more information to properly address this question to our best ability.
NOPE! dodged like a matrix bullet.
the entire rest of the ‘official statement’ is a complete trainwreck. the story of what happened with WTNV is particularly cringeworthy and the author can’t seem to resist adding little emotional flourishes to the writing that make the apologies seem sort of conditional.
it’s worth reading. watch for the switches from vague, passive language (“nouns were verbed” followed by no elaboration) to hyper-specific PR-speak with names being named (billy jones did this thing that was bad at 04:13:45 pm EST). it’s pretty interesting to see that it mainly happens when subtle personal blame is being assigned.
i will leave you with this:
It has been confirmed that this rule was changed to reflect WTNV seats mid-event, but other rules render any change to #21 moot regardless.
- #25: The Schedule is subject to change at any time, even during the convention.
- Last line on the Rules and Policies page: “DashCon reserves the right to change these rules at any time, and attendees are responsible for their own individual knowledge of the convention rules.”
DashCon has been instructed that refunding the reserved seats in direct opposition with our rules would call into question all of our rules and policies. We are both saddened by and understanding of this stance. Potentially losing the enforcement of all of our rules and policies is not something we can risk now or at any time in the future. For anyone who has questions regarding this decision, we will [upon request] direct you to our legal counsel.
aaand they lawyered up.
you almost have to respect their audacity for going with an explanation that boils down to “we can’t refund you because while you were waiting for the panel that never happened we added rules that say we can’t refund you!”
that takes guts. so does ending the shitshow with this:
Yeah, this is pure dishonesty. People, never, ever, do business with or rely on anyone who talks like this. When people talk about “the passive voice” being bad, 90% of the time what they’re really talking about is this gimmick where sentences are structured so that you can’t tell who’s doing it.
Also: It has never, ever, not once, been the case that giving a refund you don’t have to would “call all of your policies into question” or anything of the sort.
This one pretty much absolutely establishes it: The people who wrote this are that special kind of completely-dishonest to which the only sane response is maximal avoidance. If you literally cannot survive without dealing with them, good luck. Otherwise, don’t deal with them.
if you paid for a thing and the thing was not given to you, and the person you paid refuses to give your money back, they have stolen your money. period. all the weasel words in the world can’t change that.
holy shit this is some scumbag nonsense
do you ever think about how probably lots and lots of people who joined the Sharing were like tobias
alone and abused and friendless
they were the ones who became controllers
can you imagine a yeerk controlling someone who went home to be sexually abused every night, or slapped in the face, or screamed at by their drunk parents
if that doesn’t give you a massive amount of hatred for the human race nothing will
This could be great, though, because a nice Yeerk could see this, be horrified, and try their best to be a support system for their abused host. If Yeerks can replay memories, then surely they can blank out the senses and suppress the pain of memories too.
I wonder how many neglected kids actually had their lives *improved* by involuntary infestation simply because someone is there to help them handle shit
I’ve had a little AU brewing in the back of my head, where a bunch of yeerks who had child-hosts petition for custody on the basis that they’re the only adult caretakers the kids had.
manyblinkinglights and I were just talking the other night about yeerks becoming friends with and trying to protect their hosts. like, you’re a member of a very social species, only a few generations removed from a life where you just swam around your whole lives in a puddle with all your family, but now in this new imperial social structure every single other yeerk is your superior or subordinate. your superiors can and will kill you should you fail them or betray the least sign of insubordination—and it’s your duty to keep everyone underneath you in line too, because they all want you to die, so they can move up the rankings, and you’re just watching and waiting for a reason to bump off those above you… compounding this, you only get to swim with other yeerks for a few hours every three days. there’s no companionship, no friendship, no trust. how could there be?
and then you’re put into this human’s head, and she’s scared and angry too, and she hates and fears you and hates and fears your superiors. and she’s also funny, and sad, and talks to you. she’s the only person you can talk to. she wants to be friends: wouldn’t this be easier, she thinks, mightn’t you be a little nicer, maybe this wouldn’t be such a nightmare, if you were friends. and you’re both the only ones who can talk, really talk, to each other, and share your fears, and maybe—joke around, or watch a sunrise, or pet a cat, or eat an apple. maybe you could be friends. maybe you couldn’t help but be friends.
and if you come to care for her—and how couldn’t you? how viciously insane would you have to be to not care for this person you’re with day in and day out, the only other creature you can share yourself with in the universe—and they find out, you will be killed quickly and brutally. she will be given to someone else who crushes her properly, who doesn’t even leave enough left of her to scream. and that will be the end of both of you.
and so you brag about how well you’ve controlled her, you tell your peers—such as they are when you’re all waiting to kill each other, and every yeerk in the empire swims alone— how easy it is, to torture humans, to degrade and destroy them, how they deserve it, how you enjoy her pain, how any good yeerk enjoys this domination. you gloat and brag, you strut. every good yeerk loves their empire. and you are a good yeerk, all of you are such good yeerks. aren’t you? shouldn’t you be?
and inside her mind, alone like you, she asks you: can yeerks cry?
no. no, no, of course not. only humans cry. but you might, if you could.
I just saw someone fancast benedict cumberbatch as adam warlock ??????????? GROSS
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